FAS can look different during various aspects of the lifespan throughout your child’s life.
From infancy to adulthood, there will be lifelong implications, but parents do not have to feel alone in caring for their child. Understanding what to look for, as well as how to handle any issues is important in providing the best possible care for a child. Furthermore, parents should not be afraid to ask for help, and use the resources that are available to them.
Some of the behavioural deficits and susceptibilities which may be present in children with FAS that parents should be aware of and be prepared for may include:
- Increased susceptibility to ear infections, sensitivity to touch, noise and light: experienced in infancy
- Incapability of setting boundaries, need for consistent physical contact, hyperactivity, impaired memory capability: experienced in toddlers
- Attention span shortened, coordination and motor skill impairment: experienced in young children
- Falling behind in school, poor control of impulses, difficulty determining public versus private behaviours: experienced in older children and teenagers
Many fetal alcohol spectrum disorders go undiagnosed.
If you are a parent to a child who displays symptoms, do not be afraid to discuss your concerns with your doctor. Early diagnosis is important, so intervention strategies are put into place as early as possible, and they are more effective towards your child’s specific diagnosis.
Children may feel frustrated at times, especially if they have difficulty with something that they notice other kids do not struggle with as much as they do. As a parent, you should reassure your child that although they may be different, they can still have a happy and fulfilling life, they may just need to work harder at certain things.
Children can also experience low self-esteem when they come to the realization that they are different than their peers. Additionally, making friends may pose to be difficult. Parents should be prepared to aid their child with their social skills, as making friends is important in alleviating some self-esteem issues that their children may have. Having a good support system through both family and friends can have a significant impact in empowering children with FAS and making them feel like they belong.
Behavioural deficits that children with FAS suffer from can be difficult to know how to deal with as a parent. However, there are programs and resources in place which can help educate and give parents tools to care for a child with FAS, including:
- The Families Moving Forward Program
- CanFASD Caregiver Resource Guide
- Children’s Aid Society of Toronto – Child Welfare Institute FAS Caregiver Training
Telling your child about their diagnosis:
Children may blame their mother and feel angry towards them when they discover how FAS is caused. As the mother of the child, this can be a difficult conversation to have, but the best solution is to explain to them in an age appropriate manner of what circumstances may cause a mother to drink during pregnancy.
The child’s angers and concerns should be addressed by the mother to the best of her ability. Some things to mention could include that a mother may not discover she is pregnant until later on, and so she drinks alcohol unknowingly. Other times, some mothers may have problems in their life which restrict them from quitting alcohol consumption abruptly. A mother may not have the intention of hurting their child, but in some cases it may happen.
Being truthful, as well as providing reassurance and support is necessary to help the child come to terms with their diagnosis.